Prepare Your Loved Ones for Your Birth Sounds

Most women will have at least one loved one attending her labour whether in hospital or at home.  Usually the husband/partner will be there, mother, sister or best friend, and sometimes the siblings in a home birth situation.  

All of your loved ones LOVE you and no one enjoys seeing a loved one experiencing pain.  Also, none of them have probably every seen or heard you experience pain for what could be for several hours … Maybe they have seen / heard you swear your head off for a few minutes after you’ve stubbed your toe, or maybe you have groaned and moaned when sick with the flu, or maybe they have seen you scream and cry if you have ever broken a bone … BUT the sounds of labour are going to be very, very different and will most likely go on for a much longer period of time … becoming more and more intense as the labour progresses.

From the reading I have done and from my own personal experience, making primal sounds during contractions whether that is moaning, groaning, toning or a combination of the lot, will assist with pain relief, relaxing and opening the cervix and keep the labouring woman in “the zone” …to name a few benefits.

But first of all, YOU need to give yourself permission and feel comfortable about making such primal sounds BEFORE the birth and so do the people who you have chosen to support you (even some birth professionals need a reminder that vocalising is important).  

If your loved ones aren’t prepared it could bring up anxiety for them (especially if they are the type who want to ‘fix’ everything – most men are like this, and mothers tend to worry).  You don’t want an anxious person supporting you and you also don’t want to be suppressing your sounds just because you don’t want to freak out your loved ones!!!  

Remember that you are using your voice as a pain relief and ‘opening up’ tool to help you birth your baby gently into the world!

You really can’t afford to abandon your voice, but you CAN prepare your loved ones.

Here are some discussion points and exercises you can do with those loved ones who will most likely be present during your labour.  Adjust the language of course, according to whether you are talking to your hubby or children…

Points for discussion:

“I will be making sounds during contractions which will be different to the sounds I normally make.  They are good, healthy sounds that are helping me cope with pain and to birth my baby.  When these sounds become more intense it means that the baby is VERY close to being born.”

“It is important to me that you feel comfortable with these sounds so I can let go into the birthing zone using my voice.  I need to know that you won’t freak out when I make sounds because I need you to be present with me…NOT busy freaking out.  Here are some fun exercises we can do now to help us ALL become uninhibited with using our voice and hearing each other make different sounds.  Then when it comes to the birthing day, making sound won’t be an issue.”

5 fun and simple exercises:

Stand up.  Open your mouth.  Stretch your arms…and YAWN.  Yawn as loudly as you can.  Let the sound out.   Yawning is usually contagious so relax (try not to laugh too much) and YAWN your head off!

1. LAUGH!  Do “Ha ha ha’s” and “Ho ho ho’s” and He he he’s” “Hu hu hu’s” and a combination of them all.  Make high and low, fast and slow sounds ie. Make your laughing interesting! Be creative!  And enjoy laughing at each other!  Laughing is also extremely contagious!

2. Take a deep breath, open your mouth wide and sigh “Ahhh” several times.  Allow yourself to relax as you do this.  Release any stress or tension that you may have held in your body through the day.  Let it all go!

3. Crawl around on your hands and knees and pretend you are a cow! Kids love this one of course!  Even if you are not a kid you will get a kick out of it!  Choose some other animal sounds to explore together – monkey, dog, lion, kookaburra, elephant, cat 

4. Everyone holds a piece of ice in their hand for 1 minute (the time of a good contraction) without making any sound.  Talk about how this felt.  Do it again this time making some long “Ahhh” and “Oooo” sounds or just moan and groan… allow whatever sound to be OK.  Notice and discuss the difference when it came to coping with the pain.

More to discuss:

“Here’s how you can support me to make more sound during labour:

• Remember that the sounds I make are not necessarily an indication on how much pain I’m experiencing…they are just me expressing myself which is helping me to stay strong and release tension in my body. “It’s better out than in” as they say!

• Staying calm will help me to stay calm

• If you notice my breathing is shallow, my face is all tense, I’m not making any sound or I’m making high pitched sounds remind me to make low, groaning moo cowlike sounds.  Do this by making those sounds with me.

• Make sounds with me.  “Singing” in a group is much less scary than singing solo, right?? This will help me feel supported.  Just hearing that you are “with me” will help me to relax.”

My 4 girls … they heard every sound I made during my home births!